ugh

I just got back from the ER. Earlier today, whilst getting reunited with badass rollerblading self, I had a pretty serious wipeout and hit the back of my head. I felt fine afterwards thanks to my Natasha Richardson Memorial Rollerblading Helmet™ and kept going for another hour. I met up with Andy and Cameron for dinner, and got home and was writing an email when my vision started going blurry. I didn't even associate it at first with hitting my head, but it was getting worse fast and really freaking me out. Then I looked in the mirror and my pupils were different sizes, and I was like "fuck! What should I do???" At this point, I felt fine except for those two symptoms (and my increased anxiety levels). So...

I decided to go to the ER, even though I wasn't sure if I should be there or not. By the time I got in to see the doctor, I was pretty dizzy and out of it (yes, even more so than usual!) and the doctor said we should do a CAT scan just in case. It came back normal. I just have a concussion. YAY! So I went and bought Tylenol and now I'm home.

I am absolutely dreading waking up tomorrow to not only a concussion headache but massive aches and pains coming from a body that has done --zero-- cardio/exercise/activity since last summer.

I'm just glad I'm okay. I'm certainly not shy about going to the doctor, but my wallet is, and it's the only reason I hesitated. I was thinking about it in the ER and it is bewildering to me that I was not just like "Something is wrong with me. I am important. I need to do whatever it takes to get help." It was "What if I am having a stroke? What if I need brain surgery? How will I ever pay for it?"

I am going to go decontaminate and then go to bed.

I just sneezed and it felt so, so wrong, like my brain just did a backflip. OUCH!! waah waah waaaaaaaaah!!!