writing the shit out

After work I came home & ate my veggies, then I went to Pablo's to write in my brand spanking new journal. I got a little bit of insight there- mostly that I should be thankful for what I have rather than constantly agonizing over what I don't have. It feels better and obviously is more spiritually attuned than finding the 2% of my life that isn't working and crawling into it.

Of course as soon as I get home I have no inclination to do anything important whatsoever. I am giving my Andy Warhol presentation tomorrow and kind of just want to wing it. If I don't do it tonight I will get up early and do it then. Part of the problem is that I haven't clarified in my head yet just exactly how we are alike and how we are different- I know I posted a list here, but I just feel like there is something I am missing, even though it is right in front of my face.

I forgot (until tonight) that I agreed to go to this crappy-ass awards ceremony Friday night for Sister Somebody... who the fuck knows? I was given a ticket as a "reward" at work and would feel much much better about it if I had something decent to wear. It's black tie, which I don't have/can't do, so my boss is lending me a jacket to wear, and I am totally horrified!! I'm an art student in Denver. In Denver, people wear jeans *everywhere*. I don't own a stitch of formal or semi-formal or business wear.

Maybe I should stay up all night and finish this presentation so I can go to the Goodwill tomorrow morning? Macy's tomorrow afternoon? This is retarded. The story I am telling myself is that I will meet some handsome, respectable guy. But will I be hanging out with a bunch of people I don't know in a jacket 4" too short? Sources say "yes".